October 24th Anniversary

October 24th marked our one year of dating!

This year has been such a growing and learning experience. If anyone says "relationships are so easy, piece of cake and you'll always be happy" is a filthy liar who needs a reality check.

Relationships are hard work!! But we chose to work at it every single day because of all the sweet sweet love we have for each other! There is no one else I'd rather work for than this guy! He's worth it. 

• There have been times when insecurities and jealousy get the best of me. Same for him.
• There's been times when my pride gets in the way of forgiving quickly. Same for him.
• There's been times when I want more attention and when I don't get it, I pout and take offense. He forgives me the second i apologize when I realize i'm being a booger.
• There's been times when I get upset over NOTHING and instead of dropping it, i drag it on and on because I have a tendency to want to have the last word. He puts up with my crap and doesn't put me down,...he just waits for me to "snap out of it" and accepts my apology.
• There's been times where he gets mad thinking of other boys I have liked cause he gets jealous. I forgive him quickly too cause i understand we both have insecurities. 
• There's been times where he suffers the full effects of my PMS. Oops? I get so snappy and mean and irritated with everything he does. But he is so patient and kind,...I don't know how he does it. I even get annoyed with myself!!
• There's been times where he gets mad at things that seem "dumb boy stuff" to me. But i am learning to be understanding and patient with him, just like he is with me. 

I could go on forever on all that we have learned this year. I have learned so much that I can't even put into words all that this relationship has taught me. 

October 24th, 2012

I came home from school to a dozen BEAUTIFUL long stem red roses! my heart melted! They were gorgeous!! Next to it was a little box full of little movietickets, calling cards (from when I went to Peru and he would call me every single morning), airplane tickets, etc...it was a memory box. He has a big memory box but this one he gave to me with a few of his own memories from our year together in order for me to start my own. Next to it was the sweetest 2 page letter. A looooove letter ;) I cried my eyes out. 

That night, he told me to get dressed up cause he made reservations. OoOoohh la la!! When he showed up I gave him his gift from me. A CD-Movie I made of our entire year in pictures, videos and song. I'm kinda awesome. Then we gave each other our nice gift. 

I got him a pair of the new Nike free runs 4.0. Ballllin'!! He loved them and he deserved them!

He got me a STUNNING gold and silver colored Michael Kors watch. Flossssssy!!

Dinner was at "the house of tricks". It was gorgeous but wayyyyy ridiculously expensive. So, i thanked him so much for wanting to make our night so special but that was too much. So, we did "US" and went to PANDA! Then we just hung out together like usual. It was perfect! I had my perfect guy and a perfect learning year together. 

Love is sweet. I don't know where I would be with out him in my life. I cannot wait for next year ;)

The attack of the OVARIAN CYST

Once upon a time, Darlene and Max were at Max's house getting ready to go to the movies on a beautiful Thursday eve. Everything was fine and dandy until Darlene felt a stabbing sensation and exclaimed, "Ouch!!!". Suddenly, she found herself doing this: 

In absolute confusion, Max turns to Darlene and says "what?! what's the matter?!". The young man's facial expression was a little something like this:

Darlene began to calm down a little bit and in a trembling voice said, "I have no idea! it feels like my uterus is trying to fall out! I have sharp pain and it feels like something in me is putting sharp pressure downwards, it hurts!!"...Before Max could respond, Darlene tried standing up and immediately fell back down in pain stating "Ohhhhh ouuuuchhhh, I can't take this pain!". Max immediately reached for her hand and rubbed Darlene's back and stated, "Babe I can't stand to see you in pain. I have no idea what this could be, I think we need to go to Urgent Care, now!". Stubborn as a mule, Darlene refused and wanted to lay down in case the pain just went away. Besides, she doesn't have health insurance and can't afford and emergency visit.

About 2 minutes went by before the pain worsened. Darlene was curled over in pain and finally agreed to be taken to Urgent Care. Max drove there while holding her hand along the way, his face as pale as paper showing concern and fear. 

They arrived at Urgent care and Darlene was able to speak without crying. When it was finally time to be triaged, Darlene stood up to see the Nurse and nearly collapsed. The pain was so bad, that standing up made it worse, and taking any steps to walk made it seem like she was approaching an agonizing death. Tears began to flow out as Darlene's arm began to shake. Max rushed for a wheelchair and sat Darlene down. The nurse asked her questions and noted Darlene's pain at a 10/10. She did not offer pain medication. Darlene was upset. The Urgent Care physician approached the bawling patient and her concerned boyfriend. Questions were made and a conclusion by the physician stated, " Due to this being a gynocological problem, it is out of my scope. We don't have Ultrasound here, so i suggest we transfer you immediately to Mercy Gilbert ER! We need to see what is causing the pain and only they can do it." Angry that nothing was done, Darlene opted to go back home due to not being able to afford an ER visit.

Poor Max was at Darlene's bedside for the following hours, doing everything for her in order to simply lay down and rest. He even fed her jello since she hadn't eaten anything. The pain was still there. Sharp and stabbing pain that made darlene want to vomit. It was the worst pain experienced by this young woman. 

THE NEXT DAY:

Pain was still there, thankfully now at a stable 3/10. Still, Darlene sat through a 5 hour lecture and was ever so careful when walking. Upon getting home, her mom and her began to call every clinic they could to see who did discounts on non-insured patients. Ultrasounds cost a lot of money, and seeing the doctor alone just to get an order was going to cost $115. This seemed ridiculous!!

FINALLY, a family friend suggested a small Hispanic clinic that does general medicine at a very affordable price. The sweet and concerned mom took no time in dragging Darlene to the clinic.

4:10pm: They arrive at the clinic and Darlene explains her situation to the front desk lady, who was extremely caring and attentive to detail. She said that at 4:00pm, the ultrasound man leaves and is done for the day. The ultrasound man happened to have been listening and stated, "no, it's okay, I want to her help, give me a few minutes to set up the machine". WOW what a BLESSING!! The kind man set everything up and took Darlene and her mom into the room. While performing the diagnostic test, the pain came back and the girl exclaimed "OUCH!! it hurts right THERE!!"....a few personal questions about Darlene's menstrual cycle was asked and finally the man said, 

"there it is, you my dear have a CYST on your RIGHT OVARY. The left ovary looks perfect but your right one is carrying a nasty angry cyst! Come back Tuesday to speak with the physician and get your ultrasound"

The kinda man continued to explain how a cyst develops and how Darlene's was a common one, that most women will get in their lifetime.

Can't believe how painful those boogers are!! Now, Darlene just has to wait until that sucker bursts which will cause more pain and a little bit of blood, but that will be the end of the monster.

being a girl is great, isn't it? 

I lack the big C word: CONFIDENCE

So,...I love Instagram. I barely use it to post my own pictures, but i sure do enjoy seeing everyone's creative pictures or awesome life. But I do notice a lot of girls posting pictures of themselves wearing super fashionable clothes, perfect make up and perfect hair. They have the perfect accessories, shoes, pretty nails and PERFECT body. Then I do the big "uh oh"...


...I am 100% guilty for sitting there and comparing myself to these beautiful girls with perfect everything! why why why why why???

Truth: Never have I ever cared about my weight. I know i'm not skinny, but I know i'm not morbidly obese. I eat whatever I want (Shoot, i had my gallbladder removed last year due to poor food choices), I drank soda all day for every meal and in between meals, I hate make up and go without it, and i HATE doing my hair/ I dont know HOW to do my hair so it's just...there. 

Anyways, I will sit there and think: "She has the perfect body" "I will never have a waist like that" "I have no idea how to wear make up! what the heck is foundation and why do girls wear it? uhh what's concieler? how do you spell concieler? I wished i had long eye lashes. My teeth need to be more white. I need to start doing something to my hair".....THE LIST GOES ON.

I dont understand where these girls get the time or money to be so gorgeous!! I envy them! I wished I had time in the morning to get up, do my hair and tease it perfectly, take my time with my make up and make myself look flawless. I wished I had money to even go shopping for something new and to rock it everyday with my awesome accessories and perfect heals to match. GOODNESS I CAN'T EVEN WALK IN HIGH HEALS!! I wanna be like them all the time!!

Instead, here is my look 5/7 days of the week: 

Sweat pants, tshirt, hair not done, no make up (hence glasses), and whatever i find for my feet. 

I only get ready for dates with Max and Sunday. 

But i realize, not doing anything to make myself feel pretty has REALLY brought me down. I feel so un girly!!

I can't paint my nails for school, i have to have my hair up in a high bun for school and clinicals, i get up at 5am for a 14 hour shift so i dont even bother putting on blush, and I go to the gym about 2 times a week for ZUMBA which i rock but I dont do any weights! I dropped the soda though and am now on 3 weeks with no caffeine! uh, it's killing me! I need soda. fatgirlproblems.

I has the sweetest boyfraan who tells me i'm retarded for ever comparing myself cause to him i'm perfect, blah blah you know...all the stuff a good man is supposed to say. haha! I do appreciate it though.

But then crazy me sees pics of his ex's and how they're perfectly thin and fashionable and girly, and i get so insecure. i suck? yep.

Goal:

1. Wear make up more often. A little mascara and blush can make a difference, i hope?
2. Learn a hair style I can do. Youtube has to have tutorials? ;)
3. Don't shop for new clothes. Save money. I'm in school. priorities: saving my little income for bigger things. I can work with what i have ;)
4. Wear something besides OLD NAVY flip flops. 
5. Learn how to do weight lifting? Maybe? or at least do pushups and sit ups before bed. BUT DON'T OBSESS WITH IT. I AM HEALTHY AND GRATEFUL FOR NO COMORBIDITIES.
6. Remember a smile is never ugly
7. STOP COMPARING MYSELF TO THE PRETTY GIRLS  I'M FRIENDS WITH! they're gorgeous but I can be gorgeous too!
8. Listen to Max when he's telling me what I deserve. He's with me for a reason right?
9. Media makes skinny be what is expected, but a girl's gotta have some curves, right? ;)
10. Dress up sometimes. Don't wear sweatpants 6/7 days!! 

I'm awesome. :)

"Come Outside"

He worked late last night which meant i wouldn't be able to see him. I was already in bed by the time he called me. We chatted for a bit and he asked to call me back so he can change out of his work clothes and get ready for bed. He calls me back and shortly after, again, he says "Can i call you right back?"....at this point, I was annoyed cause i wanted to sleep and he kept "calling me back". Annoyed I said, "how about we just say goodnight, you seem busy and it's late" to which he answered, "no no, i'm sorry i promise it'll be 5 minutes".....

After a few minutes, my cell phone rings and he says, "Hey,...Come outside.."

I open the door to see him walking up with an arrangement of gorgeous flowers and a piece of paper in his hand. I immediately got humbled by his kind act. 

The flowers just so happen to be two of my most favorite, "Star gazers" and Red Roses. Also my favorite colors. The piece of paper was titled "The List"...and it was a poem he had been working on writing for me. Reading the poem, I couldn't help but smile big and attempted to hold back my tears. 

Seriously, I will be framing this poem and reading it every day.

I am so grateful for this man and every thing that he does for me.

Fact: I have insecurities, I get mad at my boyfriend for really meaningless and dumb things, I get jealous of other gorgeous girls even the ones he's never met in his life, I get in bad moods and he pays for it, I pout,....

YET,....he is so understanding, patient, loving and puts up with my girl moments. And after 9 months of dating, he still makes me weak at the knees and tells me I am his world.

I love him.

The Olive Theory

In an episode of How I Met Your Mother, Marshall and Lilly talk about their Olive Theory. 
In a nutshell, Marshall hates olives but Lilly loves them. So, whenever Marshall gets olives he'll give them to Lilly...the perfect balance to a good relationship. (according to HIMYM)


This got me to thinking, do i practice thus said Olive Theory? 


Why, yes, yes i do!


Things I think are yucka-town:

• Pickles
• Peanut butter
• Ice cream with chunks
• Non-white chicken meat
• Non-well-done steak
• Anything spicy
• Salads
• Veggies (unless you're a child, you should eat your veggies! just don't look at me for an example)
• Cheese
• ....okay, the list goes on for a long time

Things Max will eat for me when I get them:

• All of the above

It's so nice to have someone who will eat my food for me when I dont like them. It's funny to sneak my unwanted food unto his plate. He's a boy, what doesn't he eat!

Olive theory 4 life! 

Our first out of state trip :)

Caaaaliiiiforrrrniaaa!!

Max and I flew out to the bay area for my twin cousins graduation from high school. Those young men are my closest cousins and I had to be there on their big day, and was so giddy that Max wanted to come a long. My entire mom's side of the family is in California, so it was a great trip to see family and introduce Maxwell to them. 

They're giant!! Congratulations Josh and Jacob! I love you!!

Day 1, we spent it with the family, getting things together for graduation and our family cook out. I loved seeing Max with my family and felt slightly bad for him during the "interrogation"  time from my uncles and grandpa. After dinner we went on a walk in the beautiful 70 degree weather. 

Day 2,I woke up singing "let's go to the beach beach!! let's go get away!"....we spent the day on the road with the twins and Sidney (Josh's gf) and went shopping at outlet malls in Gilroy. They don't have SONIC in Sunnyvale so while in Gilroy, the gang demanded we stop at SONIC for their rare sonic time. haha max and i found it funny. 

After Gilroy, we went to my favorite boardwalk...Santa Cruz!! 

Oh such a fun day! We were exhausted when we got home!! While I showered and read my scriptures, max and the boys hit the gym for some male muscle time. Loved it! 

Day 3. "I LEFT MY HEART IN SAN FRANCISCO"...oh boy, I LOVE MY CITY BY THE BAY!! And i'm so happy Max's first time there was with me and my fam bam :) 

Before hitting the pier, we went to Muir Woods and did a family hike. Don't worry, I only made it up about a mile. I AM FATTY TOWN!!  

There was poison oak every where! Kinda cool. Not a fan of the spiders. yucka!! After our family hike, we went to Pier 39 and ate at San Fran's Hard Rock. I LOVE MY FAMILY! Soooo happy I got to spend my day with my family and my love. 

Finally, came Sunday...the day we returned home. That morning we ate at the most famous chinese restaurant in the bay area, Chef Chu's with my grandma and aunt. Then before we knew it, we were back in the miserable heat.

We came home to my family sunday dinner and after, we watched Extreme makeover: weight loss edition with my parents. what an amazing few days and end to a great trip!! 

I know I love maxwell with all my heart. After this trip it felt so nice seeing him love my family and feel so at home. I look at Max and smile because I have no idea how Heavenly Father found the most perfect guy for me. He just gets me. And when we have our occasional PMS moments, he has patience with me and we grow and learn together. 

waking up to messages like those are the moments that make my heart literally smile. There are countless text messages and phone calls similar to this picture, It just happened to be a recent one. it's the little things that make me weak in the knees, this boy is incredible!!

I know whoever reading this (if anyone at all, i know it's lengthy, so if you're here then YAY YOU!) may be like "oh i've been there" or "who cares!"...regardless, I'm happy and i love being happy at other's happiness. I hope you are happy :) 

I love this man.

I don't know anyone else that i could feel this comfortable with. We are weird and he loves me through all my weirdness. I love him through his. Moment's like these happen all the time, he is my best friend and i'm so happy of our 8 months together cause i wouldn't change them for the world. My best friend, My boyfraan, my Love :)

He loves me through my madness...

IT'S FINALS WEEK AND I HAVE BEEN A CRAZY CRAZY PSYCHO MESS!!

Background Information::I had the HESI-LPN exam on Monday and let me tell you, I have been on EDGE times a million. This test is my biggest test in the Nursing program so far and I heard it was hard. It's testing me on the past 18 months of nursing school and I was doubting myself like crazy! The stress had me SNAPPING at everyone!! I live with my parents, so they got the worst end of my crappy attitude. Then, there's my poor boyfriend, Max...

... Ohhh Max. Everything he said or did, I took it wrong and made myself get offended just to have a reason to be mean to him. WHY, SELF, WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?...i dunno. IM CRAZY. He would call me every night we didnt see each other and i'd be short and would make sure he noticed my crappy attitude cause I WAS JUST MISERABLE WITH MYSELF. I'd pout because he wouldn't text me back a lot during the day time, but c'mon self he's in school all day and I expected him to be there at the snap of my fingers. AGAIN, WHY SELF? WHY? CAUSE I WANTED ATTENTION. i was stressing, I wanted him to baby me. He's never seen me react to HIGH STRESS, and I felt bad cause i knew what i was doing to him but i just wanted him to drop everything and anything he was doing to be there for me. But i didn't realize that HE WAS THERE FOR ME, he text me the sweetest things of comfort and always called me...i just was a brat and had a crappy attitude. When I stress, I STRESS and I am the worst!


The Humbling process...
On the Saturday before my Monday HESI exam, I was again in a bad mood studying all day feeling "alone" in the process cause Max was at work and i hadn't seen him in a few days. He calls me after work, a few hours before we were supposed to go to a reception, to ask me what candies I liked. (at this point, i was annoyed thinking: what the crap weirdo!) I responded rudely "I dont like candy. I hope you're not getting me anything, I dont need anything from you.." "I'm not getting you anything! I had left overs and was gonna bring you some..."...i was short and ended the conversation. I got ready for the reception thinking it'd be a nice break from studying. I was still annoyed with Max cause he had also told me he was thinking of going to Flagstaff that night which meant i wouldn't see him the rest of the weekend and i felt victimized thinking "So you're leaving me when i need you to support me" (again, high stress=emotional=dramatic=poor boyfriend). I hear the door bell ring and I open the door to this....

7 balloons signifying the number of "completion" all in my favorite colors, Hello Kitty GIANT SIZED, and goodies for me to snack on while studying. Along with my goodies was the sweetest page and a half letter....

His thoughtful gesture humbled me and I apologized for my attitude. I explained to him how i get when i'm stressed and how he was my victim of my stress. I told him I felt needy and knew i was being ridiculous but I wanted him there, though i failed to notice he'd been there every second of the way. I apologized and when I read the letter, I cried.

Gosh I love this boy! How did I get so blessed with such a patient boyfriend? He could have easily snapped back at my crappy attitude, but instead he surprised me with the sweetest gesture I could have ever asked for. He is understanding, kind, patient and above all he shows me and tells me every day that he loves me. I'm so grateful!!

I'm huge on knowing how your significant other reacts under all sorts of situations, and good golly we are REALLY getting to know every corner of our personality and we get through all tough situations because we have patience, communication and amor.

I apologized the rest of the night. After the reception we had family dinner at my brothers which was so fun! Then, we ended the night just cuddling talking about us, the future and you know, life.

PS. I PASSED MY HESI JUST FINE :)

"Relationships 101" I wished such a class existed...

So, I'm new at this whole relationship thing. Max is my first legit boyfriend with the title and everything! I'm so used to doing the whole "hang out with a guy all the time and flirt and hold hands but it doesn't go further than that cause he's a chicken and i'm a sissylala" thing that now that i'm in a real relationship, I had no idea what to do!!

Here are some things i wished came with instructions:

1. How to set appropriate time limits. Without realizing it, I ended up demanding all his free time. And his free time is very limited with school and work. I wanted him to spend all his free time with me cause I'd always be so excited to spend time with him. BUTTTTTTT...I failed to recognize that he also deserved to spend time with his friends, just like I got to see mine while he was at work. Whenever he'd call me and would say he was going to a friends house before seeing me, i'd get upset cause i wanted him to be with me. ....I know, i sound like a typical crazy girlfriend right? But he was always so amazing and took all my crap, because he loves me. I always pouted whenever he didnt immediately come running to me but i was being selfish. I'm just so grateful that he never got mad at me for being a brat nor that he ever threw it in my face at how i was acting. He's so patient with me. I promise i'm changing my ways and realizing my lesson number 1: It is okay to not spend every second of our free time together. Sounds simple, but in the middle of my "oh i love you" stage i forgot to think of him and realize that it is okay that i'm not his only best friend.

2. How to compromise. Again, this is my first real relationship,...I used to think I was always so chill and that nothing ever bothered me. I still am like that, if you say jump i'll say how high...i dont mind doing things he wants to do. But sometimes he wants me to choose specifically what we do, or what music we listen to on the road. And i truly don't care! But he gets annoyed that i never choose. I HATE MAKING DECISIONS. sorry? So we compromised with it...I choose an activity, he chooses the next. I plug in what i like to listen to, even though he doesn't like hip hop/rap, and then ill listen to his John Mayer music. I learned to like John mayer. I'm the only girl in my family,..aka okay, i get things my way all the time. But now im learning my lesson number 2: Keep the party at peace, and compromise! I love him enough to drop my ghetto music and he loves me enough to listen to it whenever i want to get hyphy. aw yeah!!

3. How to be his girlfriend, not his mom. Sounds funny, but i have this thing called I worry too much. Yeah, it's a disease, I wanna take care of everyone and take everyone by the hand,...maybe it has to do with my career in Nursing?? but anyways,..when my boyfriend speeds, i get scared and tell him to slow down. yeah, i'm that girl. When he wants to spend money on cool gadgets for his car, i tell him to save his money! ...that's a reasonable one, but i gotta realize he's a boy, he wants his cool toys and i'm not his wife. If he doesn't wanna save, he doesn't have to. IIIII just want him to save cause i'm a worry wart about finances. again, life lesson number 3: Be the girlfriend more than the mom. I have his best interest at heart, that's okay, but i can't control him. oooooo

Now here's what gets me...he is so incredibly patient with me that he never ever complained of anything i do! I realized i was doing those things after a conversation with my cousin who is a psychiatrist (free advice session? yes please!). When i spoke with him, i apologized for all those things i did, ESPECIALLY #1 cause i'd always get so mad...he wasn't expecting it. But he's so so good to me that he never spoke up to me cause he loves me so much, he was willing to take all my crap. but how can i fix it if i didnt know? well now i know.

Relationships are hard work!! it's no longer the "darlene" show, it's now the "darlene has a boyfriend to be thoughtful of" show and i'm learning SO much!! I feel bad he has to put up with me, i can be such a brat. But every time i get those meaningful hugs where he holds me tight and whispers how much he loves me...it makes me want to be the best i can be for him! He is amazing to me, and i'm learning more and more every day :)

Again, i don't know where life will take us, but I know im learning a lot about relationships and myself.

He took me to build a bear on feb 13th for vday (i worked a 14 hr shift on vday) and he made me a cat that we dressed up as buzz lightyear. AKA BUZZ IN BOOTS!

Windy days, we built a buzz lightyear kite and flew it at a park. He really likes buzz lightyear.

Sedona trip :)

Gosh he's cute :)

I ruin pictures a lot

love himmmm

:)

yeah, I'm lucky :)