I saw the Red & Blue lights come

Have you ever had to call the paramedics for your dad?....i hope not. I dont wish it on anyone. ...But i had to dial those dreaded 3 digits in order to get help....


December 24th, 2010, 1230AM.

I came home early Thursday night thinking I was tired, but really it was more of an urge to go home. I walk into my parents room and kiss my dad on the forehead as he laid sleeping to let him know i was home. He had been having a dry cough for a couple of days with a low grade fever, so i asked how he felt. "bien" (good) is all i got in return.

I went to my bedroom and did my usual bed time routine. My mom and niece who had been watching a movie when i got home, got into bed at this time.

Around 1230am, i heard my dogs going CRAZY barking. They only bark this way whenever a stranger is in the house and I dismissed their barks thinking they'd seen a cat go by the window. But they persisted and I whiningly got out of bed to shut them up.

"Oh dear Lord what do I do!!"....came the chilling cries from my mom as i opened my bedroom door. Without taking a second to see what was happening, i instinctively ran for the telephone and through the master bathroom looking for my parents.

In the kitchen, i saw my Dad running toward the sink with his arms in the air as my mom ran behind him patting his back in a frantic motion. I faced my Dad to see his face completely blue, ears going white and a desperate attempt to breathe. I DID NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT WAS HAPPENING. He was sleeping just a few minutes ago.

Immediately i dialed those dreaded three numbers. Help was on the way.

I ran to my dad and on my way to him, i saw my 9 year old niece standing by watching him with her hand over her mouth. MY HEART SHATTERED INTO PIECES. no child should have to see this. I shouldn't have to see this. NO ONE deserves to see their loved one in this state of emergency. I ran to my baby and held her tight and whispered words of comfort and we said a quick prayer.

As i reached my dad he began to cough, THATS A GOOD SIGN. The lady on the other end of the phone asked me if he was conscious, and he was. So we had to keep him coughing to get some sort of O2 going through him because if he stopped coughing and the o2 was cut out again,...no oxygenation to the brain means....you know, the "D" word.

All i remember was running to my dad and in desperation fanned him and grabbed his hands and yelled into the Heavens,... DO NOT DO THIS TO ME, DAD. DO NOT LEAVE ME! LOOK AT ME, COUGH!!! ..... i was numb. completely numb.

I ran outside to see the flashing Red & Blue lights bolting down my street. I let out a breath of relief as I walked the men towards my dad. They stabilized his airway, took vitals and gave him oxygen. As i held my mom the paramedics instructed us my papa needed to go to the ER. without thinking it twice, we took my dad to the Emergency room.

We didn't leave the hospital until 0800. Diagnosis, upper airway obstruction. My dad's viral infection (cough) got so bad that his tonsil swelled to the point of closure. The nurses started him on an IV and gave him steroids to open up the airway.





His ER doctor wanted to hospitalize him to keep his heart monitored, but EKG's and lab enzymes were clear, so my daddy signed himself out AMA. (Against Medical Advice).


DECEMBER 24th, 2010 was the scariest night of my life.

I dont remember anything. This is all little spots of memory i have here and then. My mommy told me she saw me differently as i ran down the halls of our home for the paramedics, how i was calm and quick to act, yet my eyes told a whole different story. I WAS SCARED. genuinely scared.

My Heavenly Father blessed me with strength in those moments of panic cause i never imagined myself to be "calm". I broke down after dropping my dad and mom off at the ER door and i went to park my car. I called Tori with out reason, just to tell her to pray and I have never felt such pain and worry in my heart. I scared her cause she's never heard me in hysterics before. I was strong for my daddy. ANd he was strong for me.

I am grateful for the tender mercies of our Heavenly Father. For the strength he gave me and my mommy. I didnt leave my dad's hospital bed side for a second. I was his best nurse he said :)

I broke down on the car ride home, holding my dads hand and expressing myself.

ABOVE ALL, I BROKE DOWN TALKING TO MY HEAVENLY FATHER. He helped me and blessed my family that terrible Christmas Eve moment. But all the events, made our Christmas that much sweeter for our family was more united than ever and the outpouring of love and gratitude was felt.

IM SORRY. this post makes no sense maybe cause my thoughts are all over the place. I can't write things in order cause like i mentioned, i dont remember. But i know that every moment i see my dad, I remember my test of faith cause not for a second, did i forget to thank my Lord.

Let There Be Praise

I Love Christian Dance Company!!


This was my 3rd year in the Company and also my last. 2010 marks the 10th year since CDC was created by amazing girls with tremendous testimonies.


For those not familiar, read this article featured in the NEW ERA about how the annual "Let there be praise" Christmas show came to be... http://lds.org/new-era/2008/12/let-there-be-praise?lang=eng .... :)


I have a simple, but strong testimony of my Savior and Redeemer. This annual performance is such a testimony builder in which i learn so much from my self, as well as the beautiful girls involved.

The Temple performance is my favorite, for i have the most perfect view of the Lords sacred home in front of me. It's difficult to dance in such a small stage, but the view is beyond perfect. The rain poured down on Temple grounds as we performed that night, i felt so bad for all who were sitting in the cold still wanting to watch us dance. We ended the 30 minute performance with my all time favorite hymn, "I Know that My Redeemer lives"...we walked on stage at the end with our hands to our hearts as the words sang, "i know, He lives"...with my eye set firmly on the Holy Temple and those words being sung, i felt the spirit so strongly and merciful. I may have cried.

I LOVE THE CHRISTIAN DANCE COMPANY.

I am grateful for the experience i get to dance through my testimony of my Savior and to share it with everyone i love. I am grateful for Tricia who began this program that on this 10th year, continues to inspire our community.

i'm 21.

Happy birthday to meeeee!!


[ On December 17th ]

I never do anything for my birthdays beside the casual family get together, blow the candles and call it good. I enjoy that a lot cause i despise being the center of attention. It makes me nervous and i dont like people focusing on me. Im silly like that.

My birthday week started off with a trip to the snow which was so much fun! My guy friends are pretty silly. That week was my school finals so i spent it locked up in the library. Luckily, a studly guy needed library time so we spent hours studying it up at the library. I passed pharmacology and nursing, but failed my pathophysiology class. POOTS. sad day. But i can retake it. so it's not the end of the world.

anyways, the week consisted of school, studying and work. My RN school friend bought me a pin that said "CARD ME, IM 21". cutie!

Come midnight on the 17th, i did my traditional "jump on my parents bed and yell "IM BORN IM BORN, GIMME PRESENTS!" " ...( im really mature, i know). I opened my gifts at midnight which was a spicy black purse and soft pink pj's. I love my parents!


FRIDAY, DECEMBER 17th...

My day was pretty normal, loved the phone calls, texts and messages wishing me a happy day. Im blessed with terrific people all around me. Towards the afternoon, Gabby & Mel came over and we went to practice for a dance we were doing at my family ward's Christmas dinner. We performed at 8 and then i was supposed to meet my friends at the "BACKYARD" for a quesadilla and something chill. In my head, im thinking it wa sjust me and my girls.

welp, i show up to this:










these girls are amazing!!

next thing i know, a bunch of cutie friends show up and wish me a happy birthday. It was so sweet of them to do that for me...i never would have done something for myself so this was the way to get me out of my "im shy to do something" phase. Lots of great friends, and good conversations went down. We ended the night playing games at a cuties house and welp...i had the greatest 21st i could have imagined.


my blessing: my friends.

I'm lucky.


happpppy birthday to meeeeeeeee!!!


next step: SWITCHING MY DRIVERS LICENSE TO THE ADULT VERSION. can't. wait!!

Do you ever get an urge...

...to shop without reason?






Fact: I do not like to go shopping! When i do go, i have something specific in mind and i know where to get it, so ill be in an out within minutes. And if i feel like browsing (which is rare) again, it's quick and i usually get bored and leave.


BUT IN SOME CASES... like today, i have an urge to just go swipe my favorite plastic card. I have nothing i need or want. I just, i just...i just wanna go swipe muh card, enter muh pin and buy me something pretty.





I THINK... i get this way after I go over a "hurdle". For example, i spent a total of 16 hours studying for my pathophysiology final (dont worry, i still think i failed the class) and i only got 2 hours of sleep. I went in this morning, took the final, and now....i wanna reward myself for just getting it done.


good thing im "cheap" and clearance shop all the way! I bought a hoodie shirt from H&M for 20 dollars (reasonable) but i still cried a little in my heart. YAY FOR SALES!




swipe swipe swipe....sigh.

You know those nights...

... where all your stresses both school and dating related just kinda come on you and squish you?


those nights, im grateful for my amazing best friends.

Flip the page...im excited to flip it!

Come the new year, there will be great goals planned for myself and i cannot wait.

point of the post is,


I LOVE MY BEST FRIENDS with all my heart!! helping each other and being there for another unconditionally is the greatest example of selfless love. I am blessed. For my sisters, i am grateful.


and side note: boys smell. where da men at?

three things. (because im avoiding studying)

Three Names I go by
1. Dar
2. Dartard
3. Darleeeneyweenie

Three Jobs I have had in my life
1. Mervyns kids department manager (at 16, holler!)
2. habilitar/respite for Pediatrics that have Autism (current)
3. n/a

Three Places I have lived
1. Lima, Peru
2. BAY AREEEEA, California
3. Mesa, AZ. (im boring)

Three TV Shows that I watch
1. SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE?
2. community
3. Llena de Amor (telenovela. HAH that's right!)

Three places I have been
1. PERU
2. CALIFORNIA
3. uhm....brazil when i was like 3?..does that count? gosh dang it i gotta travel more

Three of my favorite foods
1. frozen yogurt
2. anything with chicken
3. hot cheetos. it's in my basic food group.

Things I am looking forward to
1. no more escuela!
2. meeting a guy that wont play games/lead me on/waste my time
3. moving in with some pretty awesome friends

A much needed getaway!

School has been mean to me and work's been getting hard. Pathophysiology wants me to fail so i've been a sad little Peruvian and i'm stressing out with my car being sick.

So when Mark, Luke and Josh planned a day trip to the snow for me, shelby and gabby it was like music to my ears!! Luke made us breakfast and we were on our way!

Something about being on the road makes me so relaxed and happy. I dont care if we hit the road with no reason, i love it!!

We went an hour past payson and played in some snow. I'm grateful for them cause they had no idea how much i needed a day geataway.

I am now home sick with a sore throat and small grade fever. SO WORTH IT THOUGH!

I drove a stick shift

I drove a stick shift.


...and i stalled like 7 million times. (okay, more like 7 or so)





thank you to my cousin, Shelby, who was so kind to spontaneously want to teach me.

We drove to a church parking lot after my wards Christmas party and she trusted me with her mini cooper. (awesome car).

First gear= fail!

i always stalled!! but it was fun once i got going and got to switch to second.

point is, i LEARNED THE BASICS and now i can be less jealous of all the girls who drive stick.

why?

cause i think girls that drive stick are hott...and i want to be a hott girl :)

haha YAY ME i drove a stick shift!

Things I want to learn in 2011...

The learning never ends! there are so many things i'd like to learn this new year and im making my list....now!



1. Learn to cook "American" dishes. I can whip up Peruvian (still learning), but now i want to learn to make traditional "American" dishes. By that, i mean your casseroles, pies and those things that Peruvian don't do.

2. How to SEW! 100% of the time, my jeans are too long for me. I have short-leg syndrome. So i have to get them altered and hello, why spend money when i can learn to sew and do it my self? Also, i want to make cute aprons! I LOVE APRONS! weird?

3. Learn to SALSA DANCE!!... I can follow the rhythm and do it once someone teaches me. But i dont have that saucy Latin confidence. I love me some salsa and merengue music. All it takes is a good partner... :)

4. Learn about cars!! uhm, coming from the girl that discovered her cruise control two years after owning my car, ...i think it'd be smart to learn about cars. How to change oil, change a tire, all that fun stuff.

5. Learn to do my hair. Sounds funny, but I HATE DOING MY HAIR. 90% of the time, my hair will be outta the shower done. AKA, up in a messy 2-second-to-do pony or down in an afro mess. The other 10% (a weekend) ill either run the curler or rarely straighten it, but i just leave it down. I would like to braid, or at least learn of styles. I should start loving my hair.

6. Learn more about Politics. There's a lot going on and i'd like to understand the entire process more. I know some, but definitely not enough to have a well educated talk with someone about my thoughts.

7. Learn to scrap book. I HAVE NO PATIENCE TO BE CREATIVE. i lack that "creative" bug, BIG TIME. I dont know what looks good together, nor do i have the patience to care. But i am so jealous of the cute stuff i see my friends and girls make. They are so creative and i bet they will have an adorable home one day. I should learn to be creative. Or at least love it.

8. Learn about finances and all that awesome stuff that i hope the man i fall in love with and marry knows all about. I've been earning credit for years now and my dad helps me, but id like to be able to negotiate my own stuff without thinking "uhhhh...crap" .

9. Learn to READ DIRECTIONS when building something. Im worst than a man. I refuse to read directions. stubborn. yep. But i gotta learn to be patient, read directions, and do it RIGHT. hence my broken shelfs i never fixed haha.

and MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL....

10. LEARN TO BE PATIENT WITH MY HEAVENLY FATHERS PLAN FOR ME!! I tell myself this all the time. ANd for the most part i believe it. But i have my days where I'm "blah blah blah" and i question ME, MYSELF, AND I. Not ever having an officialy "boyfriend" makes me do the whole "what's wrong with me? am i ugly? am i not smart? am i fat?"...you know...all the questions some girls will go through on those long nights where we can't sleep. BUT I GOTTA REMEMBER, TO TRUST IN MY PLAN. To continue to live righteously and be PATIENT. I tell others to be patient, but i have to be an EXAMPLE of my own preachings. So, this year, no doubting or debbie-downer thoughts. i will learn and exemplify my TRUST :-)


These are 10 of several things i want to learn.
Learn.something.new.each.day.


2011...can't believe you're around the corner!!

Diagnosis: IBS

THAT IS HOW I FEEL TODAY!....

why you wonder? because I self diagnosed myself with IBS. (Irritable Bowel Syndrome).
I won't give you a medical lesson on what it is, but let's just say it consists of me GIVING UP ALL OF MY FAVORITE THINGS TO EAT!

WHY?
....because IBS is an evil disorder that affects 1 out of 5 women who have an intolerance to Milk. GO ME. IM THE WINNER.


Today I had a talk with my papa and we went to Sams club to buy me foods, snacks and drinks that wouldn't irritate my tummy.

In other words...healthy food. WHO DOES THAT? (jokes, but seriously)

These are just a few of my favorites that i MUST give up, starting TODAY.

1.

Hot cheetos have been so good to me. We are in love. They make me feel better when I'm stressed, sad, or just plain hungry. I know they're not good for you,...but we all have a guilty pleasure, right?

2.

and



Oh my gosh it hurts just to think about it. DP & Pepsi are my everything. Other nurses and doctors on my floor have their coffee,...i have my DP or Pepsi. It wakes me up at 4am when i have to drive for an hour, and it wakes me up before pulling an all nighter. I now am BFF's with Gatorade, thanks to IBS. (u suck, IBS!)


3.

So long, fast food. Oh how i love you, Arbys. But we must not be. For you are the biggest reason i can't digest. FATTY FOODS. ....i know they're bad. I dont recommend it. But c'mon...every once in a while a quick pick up of a roast beef and curly fries adds just the right touch to your day. Unfortunately, fatty/fried foods are the biggest factor affecting IBS. darn it.

4.

Pizza, I love you. But your tomatoes and dairy are bad to me.





HEART BROKEN. that's what i am. I love me some cheetos and dr.P while im studying. I always say, "i dont know how im not morbidly obese for how terrible I eat"...welp, here is my warning sign to stop. IBS means i gotta change my entire diet.

IM NOT HAPPY.

I dont like wheat, veggies, salads, blah blah.

But in reality, when i put on my Nursing mentality, I totally 100% agree that this is THE BEST THING I COULD DO. My eating habits are bad. Dont get me wrong, i eat Peruvian food at home which is a meal very well balanced. it's my IN BETWEEN MEALS snacks that are hurting me. NOT TO MENTION STRESS ADDS TO IBS.


This change in habit will be good though. I am giving this change a full month so i can assess my changes in IBS and hopefully, with time, reverse the affect and treat all the symptoms so that i can eattttt like a normal human being. I've never been skinny, nor am i now. I'm average. But im assuming that only good can happen from this habit change, and with it comes a balanced metabolism :) SO EVERYTHING IS BETTER IN THE END :)

(sure, with my sacrifice of my favorite foods. oh how i love you!)

[[ oh and i started on daily BID calcium supplements thanks to my intolerance to milk. Latin women are susceptible to milk disorders and again, I WIN. But im okay with popping calcium pills every day to prevent osteoporosis when im a cute old lady. ]]


I already have a head ache from not having any caffeine today. Uhh this will be a long process haha...wish me luck?

THANK YOU, IBS for being my warning sign to STOP MY HABITS, STAT. (even though you're not a very nice disorder)

...off to dance dance dance!