Thursday, March 17, 2011

Sometimes, I'm a brat...

...See, I have a problem.

I dont know how to fix it.


Whenever i get close to someone (a male),... i get scared.


I'm scared of getting hurt (or disappointed,...it's pretty much the story of my life). Maybe i'm scared of commitment? I haven't figured it out yet.

But there's this thing I do,...and I have done it countless number of times and it has gotten me into "fights" with males lots of times.

I ignore them.

I wished I knew why i did it.


I guess, I'm so scared that I dont know how to handle it and resort to ignoring cause it's my way of "running away from the situation".

I should fix that problem. I just wished i wasn't so scared of the unknown. Really, I can't even count the number of times i've done this. I get called out by the guy and i'm happy they call me out cause it forces me to talk about it. But when they dont call me out, I continue to do it. ANd in both scenarios, I lose them. I screw up a friendship. Or I screw up a possible "something".

I'm awesome.
help?

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