He loves me through my madness...

IT'S FINALS WEEK AND I HAVE BEEN A CRAZY CRAZY PSYCHO MESS!!

Background Information::I had the HESI-LPN exam on Monday and let me tell you, I have been on EDGE times a million. This test is my biggest test in the Nursing program so far and I heard it was hard. It's testing me on the past 18 months of nursing school and I was doubting myself like crazy! The stress had me SNAPPING at everyone!! I live with my parents, so they got the worst end of my crappy attitude. Then, there's my poor boyfriend, Max...

... Ohhh Max. Everything he said or did, I took it wrong and made myself get offended just to have a reason to be mean to him. WHY, SELF, WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?...i dunno. IM CRAZY. He would call me every night we didnt see each other and i'd be short and would make sure he noticed my crappy attitude cause I WAS JUST MISERABLE WITH MYSELF. I'd pout because he wouldn't text me back a lot during the day time, but c'mon self he's in school all day and I expected him to be there at the snap of my fingers. AGAIN, WHY SELF? WHY? CAUSE I WANTED ATTENTION. i was stressing, I wanted him to baby me. He's never seen me react to HIGH STRESS, and I felt bad cause i knew what i was doing to him but i just wanted him to drop everything and anything he was doing to be there for me. But i didn't realize that HE WAS THERE FOR ME, he text me the sweetest things of comfort and always called me...i just was a brat and had a crappy attitude. When I stress, I STRESS and I am the worst!


The Humbling process...
On the Saturday before my Monday HESI exam, I was again in a bad mood studying all day feeling "alone" in the process cause Max was at work and i hadn't seen him in a few days. He calls me after work, a few hours before we were supposed to go to a reception, to ask me what candies I liked. (at this point, i was annoyed thinking: what the crap weirdo!) I responded rudely "I dont like candy. I hope you're not getting me anything, I dont need anything from you.." "I'm not getting you anything! I had left overs and was gonna bring you some..."...i was short and ended the conversation. I got ready for the reception thinking it'd be a nice break from studying. I was still annoyed with Max cause he had also told me he was thinking of going to Flagstaff that night which meant i wouldn't see him the rest of the weekend and i felt victimized thinking "So you're leaving me when i need you to support me" (again, high stress=emotional=dramatic=poor boyfriend). I hear the door bell ring and I open the door to this....

7 balloons signifying the number of "completion" all in my favorite colors, Hello Kitty GIANT SIZED, and goodies for me to snack on while studying. Along with my goodies was the sweetest page and a half letter....

His thoughtful gesture humbled me and I apologized for my attitude. I explained to him how i get when i'm stressed and how he was my victim of my stress. I told him I felt needy and knew i was being ridiculous but I wanted him there, though i failed to notice he'd been there every second of the way. I apologized and when I read the letter, I cried.

Gosh I love this boy! How did I get so blessed with such a patient boyfriend? He could have easily snapped back at my crappy attitude, but instead he surprised me with the sweetest gesture I could have ever asked for. He is understanding, kind, patient and above all he shows me and tells me every day that he loves me. I'm so grateful!!

I'm huge on knowing how your significant other reacts under all sorts of situations, and good golly we are REALLY getting to know every corner of our personality and we get through all tough situations because we have patience, communication and amor.

I apologized the rest of the night. After the reception we had family dinner at my brothers which was so fun! Then, we ended the night just cuddling talking about us, the future and you know, life.

PS. I PASSED MY HESI JUST FINE :)